Why Don’t You Just Move? Why Location and Your Village Matters

People ask it with good intentions, but the question still stings: “Have you thought about moving? Maybe a different state would have better services?”

Sure, I’ve thought about it. Every parent of a disabled child has. But where you live isn’t just a pin on the map, it’s your entire ecosystem.

The Harsh Reality of Access and Resources

When you’re parenting a child with a disability, location matters. In my last post about insurance coverage, I shared how private insurance rarely pays for what our kids actually need, adaptive equipment, intensive therapies, AAC devices, specialized wheelchairs. That’s where Medicaid and state waiver programs step in.

But here’s the catch: every state sets its own rules. Some require you to drain your life savings before qualifying. Some have waitlists that stretch for years. Others, like Delaware, offer slightly more flexible options, and those small differences can make or break a family’s ability to access care.

On paper, it can look like the answer is simple: move to the state with “better” programs. But moving isn’t just logistical, it’s emotional, it’s social, and it’s deeply personal.

Home Isn’t a Zip Code, It’s a Support System

Right now, we live one mile from my parents and ten minutes from Brett’s. That isn’t just convenient, it’s life-saving. It’s the difference between sitting in a hospital room alone versus knowing someone can pick up Bo from school. It’s a hot meal on a hard day. It’s hands that help, and hearts that already know what Bennett needs.

This is the neighborhood where Bennett is known. Where the bus stops right in front of our house, and people wave as he rolls by. The school staff understand his seizures and speak his language device. He’s not a stranger here, he’s the hype man, the kid everyone cheers for. He has real friends, kids who don’t blink at a stroller or leg braces or a walker or augmentative communication. His therapists and teachers know his history, his quirks, his progress. That kind of continuity cannot be boxed up and shipped to a new address.

The Housing Dilemma No One Talks About

Even if we wanted to move, finding a truly accessible home is its own full-time job. Ramps, wide doorways, roll-in showers, these aren’t standard features in real estate listings. Families like ours are often left with two options: renovate at great expense (with zero help from insurance), or settle for something less-than-safe just to be closer to services.

The home we live in now? We found it by chance and a stroke of good luck. And it turned out to be exactly what we needed. That kind of luck isn’t easy to find twice.

The Hidden Cost of Leaving Your Village

People talk about “better opportunities” somewhere else - better insurance, more progressive policies, specialized clinics. And sometimes, that’s true. But the most powerful resource a disabled child can have isn’t always a program. It’s a village (or a wolfpack!)

Moving might gain us a waiver, but it might cost us our community. It might give us a therapist, but take away a grandparent. It might open doors to services, but close the doors of familiarity and belonging.

For kids like Bennett, that consistent, everyday love, the neighbors who wave, the teachers who know his story, the family who shows up isn’t just nice to have. It’s therapy. It’s stability. It’s joy.

Why We Stay

So when people ask, “Why don’t you just move?” the answer is layered. Yes, resources matter. But so does belonging. So does having a village. So does living in a place where your child is not just served, but seen.

Because parenting a child with a disability isn’t just about surviving systems. It’s about creating a life where your family can thrive and where your child is valued, included, and known.

How You Can Help

At WolfPups on Wheels, we know families shouldn’t have to choose between community and care. That’s why we step in to help fill the gaps by funding adaptive equipment, therapies, and supports so kids can thrive right where they are.

If you believe every child deserves to belong—no matter their zip code—you can be part of the wolfpack. Share our mission, connect a family to our grants, or donate today. Together, we can make sure families don’t have to choose between services and their support system — they deserve to and can have both.